A Few of My Life Lessons

As we go through life, if we are lucky, we get to figure some things out along the way. These are just a few of the ones I've learned, in no particular order, but together they form a large part of my outlook on life.

The first lesson I've learned is that life is a journey, not a destination. John Lennon said it well when he wrote that "life is what happens while you're making other plans." If we're lucky we get through with just a few bumps in the road along the way and few construction detours. If we're very lucky, we are blessed with wonderful traveling companions, fair winds and following sails, and good food and drink.

I've learned that, no matter how long you get, life is always going to be too damn short. It's no sin to die with some things undone as long as you've spent your penny to the best of your ability while you're here. If you've managed to change a single person's life or touch the heart and soul of one other human being, and have done so unselfishly and with a joyful heart, and you've laughed and cried with the people that you've loved, then you've had a good ride.

Do not go gentle into that dark night, but know that to age is a privilege that not everyone gets. Watching saplings grow into tall trees and babies grow to adulthood is a gift not given to everyone, so treasure the passage of the seasons and the years. Take heart and find hope that life will go on, even when you are no longer here.

I believe that death is not an end but another beginning. I will carry with me forever the memories of family and friends who have left this life, and I believe that as long as I remember them, then they are never really gone from me. It is just a matter of time before we meet again, either in another life and time or in the place beyond this life, so there is no lasting sorrow when a family member or a friend passes away. My grief is temporary; it comes from missing someone here and now. And every time I find myself saying "I wish so-and-so had seen that," I remind myself that they did, just from another place in time and space.

God has a sense of humor, and since we were made in His/Her image, we should use the sense of humor we were born with. A sense of humor is one of the qualities I prize most in people. It shows a sense of perspective about the universe and your place in it.

Take responsibility for your own happiness. Other people can contribute to your happiness, but it should never be a responsibility you delegate to them. No one is going to wave a magic wand and make you happy and your life perfect. If you find yourself dissatisfied with life, then figure out the root of your dissatisfaction and resolve to change it. It takes some courage to step outside of the habits of a lifetime and to risk discarding the familiar, whether it is friends, jobs or attitudes, but if you resolve to find happiness and contentment, then you are worth the effort.

Learn to distinguish the difference between love and sexual attraction. Mistaking one for the other is the cause of a great deal of unhappiness for most of us. Knowing the difference between the two helps define your expectations of your partner (or partners) when it comes to relationships. Count your blessings if you find someone that inspires both love and sexual attraction in you, especially if they reciprocate. But never feel that you've settled for less if your relationship does not come to include the house with the picket fence, the minivan and 2.5 children, so long as you can say that you have loved, even on a purely physical plane, unapologetically and without regret.

Live life without shame. Now, that doesn't mean that I'd want every aspect of my life on the six o'clock news, but if it were a consequence, I could live with it, survive it and overcome it. And that doesn't mean that there wouldn't be people in my life that wouldn't understand or that wouldn't be hurt if they learned about certain things in my life. But I could deal with those consequences too. For me, living life without shame means that I don't give what the neighbors think more weight than I give what the people that matter to me think. I don't worry a whole lot about what that mysterious "they" in society will think.

Turning the other cheek doesn't mean that you are the world's doormat or the world's whipping boy. I don't think that God requires that kind of submission. Sometimes the strongest thing to do is to walk away from a fight. To refuse to be drawn into the fight. To let the blows fall off you like water off a duck's back. Jesus was whipped and beaten by his enemies, but he was never broken by them. He stayed true to his beliefs and his destiny; he stayed true to himself without ever lashing back at the people persecuting him. "Are you King of the Jews," asked Pilate, to which Jesus responded, "You say that I am." That's my example of turning the other cheek.

I'm sure there are more life lessons, but that's what comes to mind most immediately. I try to live in the here and now most of the time because it's all I've got for sure, tomorrow being promised to none of us. I choose to greet the day with a smile most of the time, and I choose to laugh rather than cry if given a choice. I don't know everything, so I try to practice tolerance, especially when my views don't agree with those of someone else. The things I really hate are fanaticism, cruelty and blind stupidity. I got no use for people who are cruel to children, old people and small animals. Treating people the way I'd like to be treated is my starting place with most people. So now you know a little bit more about me.