Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Jingle Bell Hell


Sigh. I work retail. It's December. Don't wonder why I haven't updated this thing! We've been awfully busy most days, especially in the last week. Not hitting those overly optimistic sales forecasts out of corporate, but awfully busy just the same. Weird hours. Long hours. Trying to mostly keep a handle on things like laundry and dishes and the other joys of daily life. I have managed to put up my tree, bake some cookies and do some shopping. Fortunately, the rest of my shopping involves gift cards, and I can finish that in about 10 minutes on a break! I only have to actually wrap about 3 presents, which is good, as I have all the wrapping skills of a first grader.

I'm looking forward to driving up to my dad's on Christmas Eve. I'll get to go to church down the street with him because it's just not really Christmas if I can't go to church on Christmas Eve. I'll spoil Dogzilla with some Christmas cookies. I'll go to my ex-sister-in-law's family party at her aunt's house because that's my Christmas Eve tradition. I'll see my nephews there most likely and catch up with Deb's family. Deb and I have decided that we will always be sisters-in-law, even if she isn't married to my brother any more, and that's no slur against my current sister-in-law, who I am also fortunate to call my sister-in-law. Heck, Deb has said that she couldn't have picked a better stepmom for my nephews than Tammy. So on Christmas Eve, I'll go to Deb's Aunt Jane's and visit with everyone and sit around with them and sing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" as led by Deb's Uncle Ed. On Christmas Day, I'll take Dogzilla strolling sometime a little before sunrise and look at Christmas lights while the hound has a Christmas sniff. I'll give Dogzilla his presents (a new fleece blankie, a new food dish and some kind of special dog treats) while Dad and I are having coffee and reading the paper. Dad and I will go to my brother's to open presents and have dinner. I'll take my strawberry jello salad, Christmas cookies and salami rollups. I'll have to drive home after dinner because I open on the day after Christmas. We open at 7, which means I have to be to work by 6.

I am not looking forward to the day AFTER Christmas. People are mostly nice in the weeks leading right up to Christmas, but the day after is when the gloves come off. They have a whole year to work at being good so Santa is nice to them next year. I would like to tell the post-Christmas cranky ones that if store credit was an option, I'd certainly give it to them just to get them outta my hair and outta my store. Like you think I enjoy having you yell at me because you are apparently a four year old that can't be bothered with receipts and who doesn't understand plain English that states a valid receipt dated within 90 days of purchase is required for ALL returns and exchanges? I am sorry that your relationship with your family, friends and co-workers precludes your asking for a gift receipt from them, but that's your issue, not mine, and I most certainly do not have to make up for the shortcomings of your interpersonal relationships. And just why do you think that yelling at anyone is a good way to get what you want anyhow? In my time, I've been yelled at about things beyond my control by people who billed their time out at four hundred dollars an hour. So if you want to roll on the floor over a couple pairs of little Christmas socks like a two year old, have at it, and we can have security escort you to the parking lot. With your stinky little Christmas socks. To just think about what you've done. Maybe then you'll notice the "Distributed by Kohl's Inc." on the label and realize you just threw a fit in the wrong store. Or not.

I think I'll go pop a nice little Christmas DVD in, read "A Christmas Carol" and chill for a bit. Maybe have some eggnog and light some candles. And think about fixing the Christmas lights in the window, which have, regrettably, half fallen down. Those darn sticky tabs just don't work so good when the temperatures fluctuate between the teens and the upper forties on a regular basis! Good thing I've got a couple days off.

I hope all my friends and family are having some very happy holidays and that everyone stays safe well into the new year and beyond. God bless us, every one.