Why You Should Always Read Food Labels

Yes, there's loads of information about nutrition on them, and any sensible consumer should know to read labels as a matter of course. But you should also read labels so that you notice it when a cup of peach-flavor yogurt that is supposed to be the kind that helps your heart or boosts your immune system contains a warning, for those who might be allergic to certain ingredients, that said peach yogurt contains "milk, tilapia and almonds". TILAPIA??????? I know it is a mild, if not downright bland, fish, and I'm usually a pretty adventurous eater, my distaste for most innards aside. But dear God, pureeing tilapia (I'm sure they cook it first. At least I pray they cook it first!) and sticking it in peach yogurt is just wrong. And it was listed pretty high on the ingredient label, too. Like within the top five ingredients. Ugh. It's like "Iron Chef" comes to your local Kroger. Maybe I should just invest in a nice yogurt maker. Since I'm pretty damn sure I'll never look in the freezer and think, "Hey! Those tilapia fillets are just sitting there, and I could turn them into fruit-flavored yogurt!"

I will never entirely trust a Kroger product again. At least not in the dairy case.

It's a Good Thing....

that I am able to recognize purely rhetorical statements from customers, like "where did you move the Q-tips, because I can't find them and I'm totally pissed off!!!" Nevermind that this is apparently the first time you've bothered to inquire about their location during your sojourn through our almost completely remodeled store. It is an equally good thing that I can restrain my natural impulse to respond to this kind of little rant with "I personally did it with the goal of pissing you off, although that IS our current corporate policy on such things. 'Cause that's sooo good for business." Of course, now that home improvement has moved into its permanent location, we all sorta miss being able to tell people that lightbulbs are directly across from the bras and panties with a perfectly straight face.