A Few of My Life Lessons

As we go through life, if we are lucky, we get to figure some things out along the way. These are just a few of the ones I've learned, in no particular order, but together they form a large part of my outlook on life.

The first lesson I've learned is that life is a journey, not a destination. John Lennon said it well when he wrote that "life is what happens while you're making other plans." If we're lucky we get through with just a few bumps in the road along the way and few construction detours. If we're very lucky, we are blessed with wonderful traveling companions, fair winds and following sails, and good food and drink.

I've learned that, no matter how long you get, life is always going to be too damn short. It's no sin to die with some things undone as long as you've spent your penny to the best of your ability while you're here. If you've managed to change a single person's life or touch the heart and soul of one other human being, and have done so unselfishly and with a joyful heart, and you've laughed and cried with the people that you've loved, then you've had a good ride.

Do not go gentle into that dark night, but know that to age is a privilege that not everyone gets. Watching saplings grow into tall trees and babies grow to adulthood is a gift not given to everyone, so treasure the passage of the seasons and the years. Take heart and find hope that life will go on, even when you are no longer here.

I believe that death is not an end but another beginning. I will carry with me forever the memories of family and friends who have left this life, and I believe that as long as I remember them, then they are never really gone from me. It is just a matter of time before we meet again, either in another life and time or in the place beyond this life, so there is no lasting sorrow when a family member or a friend passes away. My grief is temporary; it comes from missing someone here and now. And every time I find myself saying "I wish so-and-so had seen that," I remind myself that they did, just from another place in time and space.

God has a sense of humor, and since we were made in His/Her image, we should use the sense of humor we were born with. A sense of humor is one of the qualities I prize most in people. It shows a sense of perspective about the universe and your place in it.

Take responsibility for your own happiness. Other people can contribute to your happiness, but it should never be a responsibility you delegate to them. No one is going to wave a magic wand and make you happy and your life perfect. If you find yourself dissatisfied with life, then figure out the root of your dissatisfaction and resolve to change it. It takes some courage to step outside of the habits of a lifetime and to risk discarding the familiar, whether it is friends, jobs or attitudes, but if you resolve to find happiness and contentment, then you are worth the effort.

Learn to distinguish the difference between love and sexual attraction. Mistaking one for the other is the cause of a great deal of unhappiness for most of us. Knowing the difference between the two helps define your expectations of your partner (or partners) when it comes to relationships. Count your blessings if you find someone that inspires both love and sexual attraction in you, especially if they reciprocate. But never feel that you've settled for less if your relationship does not come to include the house with the picket fence, the minivan and 2.5 children, so long as you can say that you have loved, even on a purely physical plane, unapologetically and without regret.

Live life without shame. Now, that doesn't mean that I'd want every aspect of my life on the six o'clock news, but if it were a consequence, I could live with it, survive it and overcome it. And that doesn't mean that there wouldn't be people in my life that wouldn't understand or that wouldn't be hurt if they learned about certain things in my life. But I could deal with those consequences too. For me, living life without shame means that I don't give what the neighbors think more weight than I give what the people that matter to me think. I don't worry a whole lot about what that mysterious "they" in society will think.

Turning the other cheek doesn't mean that you are the world's doormat or the world's whipping boy. I don't think that God requires that kind of submission. Sometimes the strongest thing to do is to walk away from a fight. To refuse to be drawn into the fight. To let the blows fall off you like water off a duck's back. Jesus was whipped and beaten by his enemies, but he was never broken by them. He stayed true to his beliefs and his destiny; he stayed true to himself without ever lashing back at the people persecuting him. "Are you King of the Jews," asked Pilate, to which Jesus responded, "You say that I am." That's my example of turning the other cheek.

I'm sure there are more life lessons, but that's what comes to mind most immediately. I try to live in the here and now most of the time because it's all I've got for sure, tomorrow being promised to none of us. I choose to greet the day with a smile most of the time, and I choose to laugh rather than cry if given a choice. I don't know everything, so I try to practice tolerance, especially when my views don't agree with those of someone else. The things I really hate are fanaticism, cruelty and blind stupidity. I got no use for people who are cruel to children, old people and small animals. Treating people the way I'd like to be treated is my starting place with most people. So now you know a little bit more about me.

Thoughts During A Tornado Warning at Work

Wednesday nights are my usual night to close at work. Predictions for the weather this past Wednesday were of possibly severe storms, with hail and high winds. Fearing a dearth of help, I hoped for a dark and stormy night, little realizing I would get to learn what the "What To Do In Case of Tornado Warning" section of our store's company-issued "What To Do In Case of [insert name of disastrous event]" binder.

The thunder and lightening and rain started around 5. Just in time to pin most potential customers in their cars on the freeway until such time as they needed to head directly HOME for dinner. Business was markedly sloooow. I was beginning to align the labels on the soup cans on one of the endcaps by 6:30, having collected the two pieces of reshop from the lanes and taken them to the service desk. The thunder and lightening continued, the only unpleasant side effect being that lightening meant that my smart-aleck cart attendant was, regrettably forced to remain indoors, where he would inflict his presence on me far more often than is to my taste.

About 7-ish, the tornado warning sirens sounded. The manager on duty and our security guy had a confab, checking the official store disaster manual and consulting the local news, already in full "Tornado TV" mode with dual live Doppler radar tracking blurs of green, yellow, orange and fuschia in the background across the map of central Ohio. Manager got on the overhead PA system and announced that the National Weather Service had issued a tornado warning for our area, and that we encouraged our customers to remain inside the building, preferably towards the rear and center of the store, and avoiding doors and windows. This had the effect that I have always thought it would have. PEOPLE JUST KEPT SHOPPING!!!! Except for the few who asked "Do we HAVE to stay here???" Having reassured these particular customers that this was America and that it was still their God-given right to risk life, limb and a trip to the Emerald City, we checked 'em out and sent them on their merry way.

I moved my cashiers off lanes near the doors, toward the center, just in case we had to make a fast break for the hallway outside the breakroom. Our security guy, who's actually SEEN two tornadoes, was outside monitoring the skies and getting weather updates on his cell phone, so I told my service desk person and our photo lab tech that should they see our security guy running past them, they were to leap across their respective counters and follow him. This was all done with a sense of calm and humor. I told my people that the breakroom hallway was a safe place to be, and that, in the event there was a disaster and we survived, our meeting place was at the Mexican restaurant across the parking lot. And that whoever got there first was to arrange a table and order several pitchers of margaritas until everyone had been accounted for. Afterwards, if there was still time on our shifts, we were to head back to the store and arrange the rubble in neat little piles.

Violating all policy, several of us ventured outside to look at the black sky to the northwest and watch the lightening for a bit. This all went on for about half an hour, after which, we were downgraded to a severe weather warning. Needless to say, the place was DEAD the rest of the night. Apparently, several nearby areas got hit by damaging hail storms, so potential customers spent the rest of the evening assessing damage to their cars and homes. It rained and stormed enough to keep my cart attendant indoors most of the rest of the night. By which time, I was ready to requisition a golf club from sporting goods and send him outside to play lightening rod. But that's a whole 'nuther story....